Sex in What City is it Again?
by Mike and Dave
Summary: This was written for the wife of a friend of mine in Australia. She's a big fan of the show and so I wrote her into a short episode. Basically the main characters of Sex and the City travel to Australia for their friend's wedding and things happen. Like alcohol.


"Why is it we've all never vacationed in Australia before?'' Charlotte asks while sipping on what the menu calls an "Authentic Aussie Cocktail'' (a beer in a _fancy _glass) in the Melbourne Airport lounge.

"Maybe because each city has its own species of spider that can kill you by merely being aware of your presence?'' Samantha replies. She's drinking what the menu refers to as a "Real Yank Beer'' which is a small glass of beer with an ice cube in it. Interestingly she finds it quite refreshing and reminiscent of the drinks she gets at Aidan's.

Carrie, being a creature of habit, is drinking an "Aussie Cossie'' (translation: "Australian Cosmopolitan''**—**Australians value rhyme over reason) which is Ranga Red Ale poured in a fancy glass and, for some reason, served with a still wriggling scorpion skewered by a large knife. She manages to squeeze out between cautious glances at the scorpion "Samantha ... isn't it your ... sorority sister ... who ... oh god it's still alive! ... who invited us ... here ... why would they do this? ... for her wedding or something?''

Miranda, who wisely ordered a beer, adds "Please tell me tell me this friend of yours is real and is getting married.''

"Dahhhlings, don't worry, I'm sure Buffy is real and is probably getting married. In fact I think she's supposed to meet us here? Maybe?''

The flight over had been uneventful. Except for the sex, of course. Samantha was already a member of several Mile-High clubs but mumbled something about continents and once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and besides the guy, she was sure he had a name, across the aisle, with the English accent (Australian, actually, Americans are easily confused on this point) was so totally hot.

And there was a lot of drinking. And shouting. And crying. And complaints from other passengers. And the secret sky Marshall had to reveal his presence at one point in order to prevent an international incident between the US and Japan.

All-in-all just a day in the life.

"OK, I called Buffy and she'll be here soon. It was strange, she sounded kind of surprised. Whatevs! Another round bartender!''

The bartender was strangely attracted to**—**yet afraid of**—**these four women. The safest thing to do was to keep pouring.

As Buffy pulled up to the airport a number of thoughts went through her head. Most involved driving away and not returning Samantha's calls. Some involved the bar Samantha and her friends were in. Other thoughts were about netball. Still, she had invited Samantha and her friends so it wouldn't be right to abandon them now. And there was the promise of beer.

Samantha had told Buffy that they were all in that "fancy lounge, you know, exclusive but not too exclusive? Just follow the sounds of happy and you'll find us''. This wasn't as helpful as Samantha had assumed. The Melbourne airport has a lot of lounges and bars. Nothing to be done then but start from one end of the airport and work her way to the other.

As she drank her way through beer and bar she thought about the last time she had seen Samantha. It was hazy, like many of her memories, but she was pretty sure it involved a dark closet and a lot hands**—**way more than the four you'd normally expect. It was embarrassing now, thinking about it, but it was at university. That's what happens.

"Hey sexy, I mean car rear-ender, how 'bout some beer?'' "Car rear-ender'' was Buffy's slang for a "bartender''. It was sadly apropos.

"I'm also looking for four American women drinking at one of the lounges here. Know where they are?''

Of course he did. Word had spread quickly that a gaggle of drunken Yanks were make a nuisance of themselves. He thought about it long and hard. Would adding a fifth cog to that machine really be in anyone's best interests? Probably not. Then again it would be good for some laughs, "Yeah, take your first right, then another right, and then a left, circle back around, over the stream, watch out for flying jellyfish by the way**—**they're pretty active this time of the year, up the ladder, through the gift shop and you can't miss 'em.''

Buffy said thanks and took the first left she could find.

"I wonder if Australian toilets take American pee?'' Charlotte wondered aloud not entirely sure she meant to be heard.

"Yeah, but you need to pee upwards to make it work.'' Samantha said imagining the hilarity they were in for.

"Oh, OK, thanks!''

The day turned into night into day. The women drank. The airport quivered in fear. Buffy continued her quest. Stupid airport directions would not keep her from finding her friend.

Carrie had begun to wonder what all this meant. She had a habit of providing a voice over in situations like this. Explaining to anyone else in the vicinity what might be going on and why and how she might process it all later during a sober moment. She felt the need to do so again here. This adventure of theirs is significant, it is meaningful, it would reveal truths about all of them, their relationships, their loves, their lives. Within these few words would be a summation of all that mattered in this moment which would stretch to forever. And it all started with the word "Th**—**''

"Samantha! Holy shit I found you!''

Squeals abounded. Hugs ensued. Discrete judgments made with sideways glances concerning fashion choices. But the important thing is that they were all together. It does not matter the size of the ocean separating them or the number of beers that must be drunk, when a plan is hatched these five will see it through to the end. There is strength in their resolve. Hearts the size of the kegs they had emptied. There was a wedding to attend and by god it was going to happen.

"So yeah, you know the wedding was like three years ago, right?''


End file.
